looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
