Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
