Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We have started to decorate penises.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize