i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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