where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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