also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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