You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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