ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
