Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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