Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My vagina is very pro this idea
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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