Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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