Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
