I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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