Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
