going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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