Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize