i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
