But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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