Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
time to smoke my breakfast
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
