this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
