Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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