Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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