dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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