is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
