Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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