Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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