When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Soap is not a condiment
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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