I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
