I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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