Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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