we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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