Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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