maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
