I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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