i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
