And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
