Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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