I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
