you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
