its not stalking. its research.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
