I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
