sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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