I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
