My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
