dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
