but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
