Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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