im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
babies were throwing up all over the place
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
