I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
