I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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