Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
