So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
