Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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