i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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