Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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