matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
