Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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