Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
