He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
