God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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