I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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