I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
