pop tarts are not kleenex
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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