Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
