false alarm. still invincible.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
