I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
