He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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