You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
home. puking in laundry basket.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
