walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
