There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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